sigh...whenever i try 2 b happy n let go....sumtink juz has 2 make me feel negative again........stabs of pain n disappointment pass thru my heart whenever i c sumtink related 2 the stuff dat makes me sad......i noe dat i cnt blame any1 bt my stupid stubborn character dat landed me in dis dump........bt i juz cnt help tinking a lot of "wad ifs"....lyk wad if i didn do this,wad if i didn do dat......onli some ppl bother 2 decipher wad i realli mean in my blog....sum juz tink dat dat's juz hw i am n dun care anymore abt it.....when will the pain stop hurting?will it b till nxt yr?i hope dat it will heal faster.......its juz too much 2 bear w/ no1 dat i cn share my burden w/ without feeling lyk i'm troubling the person n making the person feel lyk i do...........sigh.....it sure would b gr8 2 hav a revolution in my life....a gd 1.......thx 2 mdm yehidah's hist lessons...i noe the meaning of revolution.....it means a total or drastic change..........ha!drastic..let's juz c hw drastic it cn b..i'm trying 2 make a revolution instead of juz waiting.....in more ways than 1.....let's juz hope it all turns out fine...bt it might take quite a long time......hmm...........*in deep tot*

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[10:12:00 PM]