the more they laugh,the more i sulk..i noe its petty.i noe its useless.those ppl dun even give a damn abt me.each 4 their own.i hav finally understood the meaning of the sentence.all the past was juz a farcade.crap.nth 2 them.they cn still gt on w/ their life w/out me as a fren.finally a day has come where i nd 2 face the truth.awful bt true.nobody actually really cares abt me.i hav avoided coming 2 dis conclusion bt dats wad i feel.o'm nth more den a hi-n-bye fren+clazmate 2 them.i wun believe any1 nw.no matter wad they all say.try 2 hoodwink me in believing they care.ya right.wadever,i dun even suppose they'll go 2 dat extent.they juz act lyk its nobody's business n go together n gt on w/ their lives.leaving my in my dump.my dump of a life.nth i do cn make them realise dat i realli cared 4 them.i realli do give all i hav 4 my frenz.@ least i tot they were.they didn think so.just treated me lyk sum1 who would come wagging her tail whenever they called 4 help.when they didn nd help,down 2 the doghouse she goes.literally.i lyk 2 tink dat i'm strong,i dun giv a damn when ppl stab me in the back n hurt me etc etc.bt i'm nt.i'm juz as human as any gal.i do cry too.juz nt in public.i fell lonely,bitter,inferior,depressing n many more.all my experiences w/ 'friends' hav left me cold n bitter.i've lost my trust in best frenz.frm nw on,i wun b acknowledging any best frenz.juz frenz.i will nt tell any1 abt my feelings.let them tink wad they wan.i'll try 2 ans monosyllabic.if colors could describe my mood nw.it would b black,bloacker than the darkest crevice in the world.nobody will gt into the chamber of my heart marked w/ a sign called 'best frenz'.we ended our alliance ytd.if they wan.they cn form their own oh-so-cute clique w/ all the oh-so-cutefrenz of theirs.i noe i'm insulting.bt dat's the onli way i cn express my feelings.i cnt cry in front of them.dat would b my ultimate limit.y had tinks ended up liddat?izzit all my doing or theirs?y muz every best fren i hav end up on bad terms w/ me?juz kill me n gt it over w/!if my life is 2 b filled w/ similar encounters,i rather die sooner.

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[7:42:00 PM]