was i relieved when i decided 2 do that???absolutely not.but of cuz,i cnt stop wad ppl wan 2 do...they have their own rights.....sounds familiar....i bet it does...2 some ppl.....ya,i noe this will make me seem v cynical but 2 speak the truth,when was i ever not?so wad if ppl feels relieved that i did that.......so damn disppointed....feel lyk gg straight up n shout my head off.....but i wun.......i'm a v rational person.at least, will make myself be a rational person no matter wad...an ancient chinese proverb:"hao ma bu chi hui tou cao"...sigh....4gt it......i'm getting more n more pissed off...by wad?u make ur own conclusion.BYE!

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[7:10:00 PM]

dunno y dat tot juz suddenly popped into my mind.....does being sian means dat u're sad?dunno......anyway,i'm feeling dead tired nw....the whole wk is filled w/ band pracs etc....hav 2 wake up so early.....n nw i hav a hard time getting 2 slp....i dunno y...even if i'm damn tired.....i'll toss n turn 4 quite a while b4 getting 2 slp.......sigh......perhaps cuz a while back aft the camp i went straight on hol...in the end didn slp on a proper bed 4 almost the whole wk.....mayb dat's the reason.....nt 2 sure......somehw i'm feeling very peaceful n calm nw....although i havn done much home wk n etc.....mayb it will all come back 2 haunt me.....bah.....

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:47:00 PM]

i dunno y i'm feeling lyk crap nw........i mean i tot i was so over that.....suddenly feel so damn frustrated w/ the world........come 2 tink of it.........i havn been saying the 'f' word 4 who noes hw long.......guess i've changed....n nt onli in dat way.......nw wad's left is some sort of bitter hatred i guess..........or mayb even pity.......nt meant 4 me.time 2 move on...i wont die w/out a fren liddat rite?i guess i made my point....anyway......"cant b bothered"!familar.......ironic isn it?!ironic.....i'm ranting....getting a lil bit retarded......4 all u noe,i probably wun b in sch nxt yr....admitted 2 IMH.......*evil cackle*....dis wk's filled of band.....pracs,sch openhouse,cc performance etc......sian......-/i sincerely wish that someone will wake up one day n stare hard at wad he/she sees..../-

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:18:00 PM]

read siti's blog......was overwhelmed by the recent entry....y did she suddenly tink of that topic........bt i agree w/ wad she's saying..u realli cnt pls anyone....right nw i've suddenly tot of sumtink...wad's the definition of popular?is it 2 hav many frenz,no matter that u dun even really noe half of them v well?or is it that u dress well n hang out w/ the right people?or is it juz 2 b urself n feel confident abt wad u do n who u r?i lyk 2 tink its the last grp.....bt unfortunately,no....the society isn liddat......the society accepts popular people as those who look gd on the surface.......majority....there r still a few exceptions......anyway,i juz wanna b myself n feel confident abt myself n wad i do...........ytd,was juz listening 2 S.H.E's new album-Encore......the songs r more mature..........nice........there's a cover version of Everytime.......my sis keeps singing the songs every chance she has.............-_-"..........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[9:28:00 AM]

u c some ppl's blogs,den u go c some oth ppl's....wad they say is lyk...........both sides of the world.........the north pole n the south pole.......the onli common tink they hav is dat they're both cold..........moz of u probably dun understand wad i'm saying.....nvm.anyway,ytd spent the whole day fiddling w/ my ipod mini n playing the sims 2........i'm still wondering if i still wanna b a peerleader....i guess moz probably not.......juz 4gt it ba....cuz......nvm.there r still many tinks of mine nt solved........dis n dat.......dis tight knot n another even tighter knot........perhaps the onli way 2 un-knot it is 2 cut it........n end the matter.......i dunno........anyway,i'm gg 2 the claz gathering n i'm quite looking forward 2 it.........even though i cn sorta know wad will happen dat day..........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:35:00 AM]

the trip was fun...despite me missing band pracs n the peer leader tink..with all the ppl ard my age joking ard n playing together....takes my mind off tinks......we also went 2 pangkor island other than ipoh....the place was cool......some of us went 2 ride on the banana boat n the flying fish...i went 4 both...we went snorkelling too......it was nice,looking at all the fish n etc..did some shopping on the way back....bt the onli tink was dat i hvn been slpin on a bed since mon...onli slpt on a bed on thurs.....so my back hurts lyk hell....anyway,gt my ipod mini n a few other tinks i wanted when we gt back ytd n went out.....n 2 siti:i dun really noe whether wad i'm tinking is wad u r tinking,so if u could,call me k?thx...

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:23:00 AM]

back frm camp...............camp wasn quite wad i tot......bt on the overall it was fine..........despite some oth factors such as mosquitoes,food etc.....simple tinks such as baths n a bed cn bcome a luxury during camp..........bt we take them 4 granted usually n onli appreciate thwm when we dun hav it..............lyk sum tinks i noe........anyway, slpt soundly on the bus on the way back 2 sch...it was so much better than the bunk........even though i slpt lyk a log on the 2 nites............tonite gg 2 m'sia.........so tired........juz wanna curl up in bed n hibernate..........guess i'll onli blog nxt wk when i'm back........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[1:32:00 PM]

tinking of the camp... juz cnt seem 2 gt enthu over it........perhaps its leaving hm 4 3 days.......mayb its cuz of the tinks n ppl involved in the camp....bleh.......every1 seems 2 hav gotten used 2 the idea of their new claz.....i cnt.......dunno y........juz........dun feel lyk moving on..........speaking of the camp.....still havn packed my tinks.........actually tot it would b v eas bt nw,i tink othwise........seems lyk there r so many tinks...........slpin bag etc etc..........wad's worse is i'll hafta take the bus w/ the morn crowd tmr.......in track pants...........blech........i hope nth "weird" happens during the camp or i'll freak out..........counted the no. of ppl in my hut n found out dat we'll hav 7 ppl......including me.....lyk a lot sia...........dunno........my mind is filled w/ camp camp n camp.........anyway,aft the camp i'll b gg 2 m'sia till mon....i tink....nt realli v sure bt i'll b back onli nxt wk........so i'll guess this is my last entry till i come back...........still feeling bored 2 death.........juz asking.....if if sumbody tells u dat he/she will do sumtink,den in the end the person doesn do it.....does dat count as a broken promise or sumtink?dunno........still cnt figure it out..........guess my mind is too cluttered w/ junk dat u'll hafta take a vacuum cleaner n clean it up b4 u cn walk thru it........am i making sense?dunno.anyway,thx 4 all the ppl leaving tags...=)

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[1:25:00 PM]

ok...so i lied.....i hate hypocrites.........esp some.......grr............n btw........those ppl who say they h8 hypocrites?nv believe them.........bt again,nv say nv........wadever.....juz so pissed off w/ ppl saying 1 tink n doing another.......damn them.........controversial ppl......to hell w/ them........i dunno wad i'm doing getting all angry lyk this bt sumhw i really am..........sum ppl say sumtink n do another tink.....sum ppl show dis n in fact....they really mean another tink altogether.......damn damn damn damn.........i'm realli abt 2 scream my head off..........if i could i would bash up sum1.........argh!!!!!!boiling inside.............grr........i really dun understand ppl.......cnt they juz b who they really r?even if it means losing a few frenz?is the way society looks down upon ppl so impt?i may nt b making sense here bt i'm juz venting my anger.....those who hav been talking 2 me recently shld understand......anyway,i'm v sry 4 being sarcastic here.....i tink my poor memory is failing me....didn i rmb sum1 saying dat she'll call me??mayb it was my hallucination eh?!bt of cuz...her other frenz r more impt wad....nt lyk me.wadever......i'm juz so pissed off w/ so many tinks......my whole day was fine until nw.

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[7:05:00 PM]

suddenly realised........in 3d1'o5...........tinks r nt gonna change........oops.............sigh.........suddenly feel lyk gg 2 3b1....where siti,gl,amirah n the oths r there.......where i cn escape frm everytink............sigh.......y muz fate play a trick on me......y...........y couldn i juz b placed in another claz?dat way tinks may b much much easier................

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[1:52:00 PM]

fate realli is weird........all those ppl whom i tot would land up in the same claz as me all ended up in diff classes as me.........those i tot would nv b in the same claz as me.......we ended up in the same claz...........fate........is it in your own hands or???i wonder...........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[1:48:00 PM]

sumhw it wasn as bad as i expected.........sumhw it was juz as bad........i dunno hw 2 say la.........in sum points it betta.....in sum points its nt.........gd as in at least we're sharing huts w/ the ppl we noe....although mayb nt v well.........at least its better than sharing them w/ ppl frm oth classes n when they c u in the morn w/ ur hair or sticking up or wad nt.....tink wad would havn......if it was me......i would laugh lyk hell....so.......i'm in 3d1.......quite unexpected......tot we'll b posted 2 3c1.......i'm still in the same claz as most of my classmates(2c1'o4) so i guess it shld b alright......bt of cuz,i still hav a lot of ppl i dunno who will b in the same claz as me.......yy is in the same claz as me........haha.........we shld b happy la......den cn crap again in claz..........haha.........too bad all the jokers in 2c1'o4 aren't in the same claz as the majority of the claz.......i guess its 3d1????nt really sure......nv realli counted.....tmr gg 2 band......sumhw i'm happy 2 go 2 band.....4 once......dunno y....perhaps its cuz i'm gonna miss 2 pracs nxt wk......sigh..........n missing the peerleader tink...........too bad.........the sec 1s r gonna miss out w/out me as a peerleader....haha...*wink*...juz kidding........anyway......doing a percentage countdown 4 my hmwk.........done:0%;left:100%.......=p

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[11:56:00 AM]

if she's feeling abandoned den wad abt me?i'll b feeling lyk commiting suicide liao lo........of cuz nw i'm nt.........cuz my mindset has changed....i realli honestly dunno wad 2 say lo...........on 2 another subject..........guess many of our claz peeps r feeling depressed...i dunno la......frm most of those who come online....they r either bored,depressed,happy or none.........suddenly rmb-ed sumtink..........ppl say dat if u'r depressed or feeling sad,the ppl u attract or hang out w/ will probably b depressed...if u'r feeling happy,the ppl will mostly b happy..........i guess dat's 95% true..........in my opinion.......so i'm gonna cheer up...dun tink of the sad tinks................bt life is realli boring..................here i am saying i'm bored....den wad abt my hmwk???i havn even done 1%......wish i had a job.....giving out fliers etc.............juz keep me busy...................sigh........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[5:18:00 PM]

i juz dun gt ppl.......mayb i was an error.......mayb i wasn supposed 2 b a human........mayb i was supposed 2 b an alien or sumtink...........*doink*......realli tink 2 far liao.........bt who noes.......mayb its true.........anyway,i realli dun gt ppl ard me.............dunno where 2 start 2 saying la...........bt...................4gt it.btw,the sch still hasn post the camp grp tink on asknlearn.....talk abt efficiency........guess mayb the teachers r too busy or sumtink.......bt surely they dun expect us sec2s to go asknlearn everyday 2 check rite?oths may nt hav the time...............i do.still dun feel lyk doing hmwk.........i noe gt a lot............mayb i'll do it aft the camp.....i guess.........nt making any promises...........i'm still stuck in a world of disillusion.........dunno wad i'm doing everyday........everyday play com....den sis come back frm sch den let her play......den dunno do wad liao..........boring........btw,any1 clever enuff 2 invent a device 2 let me noe wad ppl r tinking n feeling???thx!

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[1:33:00 PM]

i love my senior!!!!!!!=)nt kiddin....i mean compared 2 oth seniors......yuxian is the best!!!!!haha...my own opinion la..i noe i'm crazy........bt she juz cheers me up w/ her stupid antics.......or mayb its juz her.......i dunno if u all understand la........bt if u all noe yx quite well den u all will noe de........juz reading her od makes me laugh.........haha..........hope her "china o levels"(<--she say de) will gt gd results........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[10:48:00 AM]

suddenly tot of sumtink while browsing blogs.........wad's the point of h8ing ppl who hurt ur frenz?i mean if is hurt u de cn understand la.....bt really no point in h8ing oths who probably dun even noe u very well......mayb its bcuz my mindset is diff frm oths.....mayb its juz dat ppl cn b too extreme w/out realising.........i guess its human nature........that's y so many tinks r happening out there in the world.......if every1 minded their own business n nt b so rash.......mayb the whole world would b diff..........mayb we wouldn even have the gr8 invention of coms,hp etc........guess i'm so bored dat i'm digressing........frm ppl 2 the world.......i wonder if i make sense.....anyway,my point is.......PEACE!!!!!*sticks out index finger n middle finger*hahahaha.......xtra rite........making myself feel happy n stupid....4 a moment.

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[4:46:00 PM]

suddenly i dun c the point in blogging anymore......suddenly i dun even c the meaning of my existence..........i feel so hollow.........i blog everyday bt wad i say r crap.......it doesn rel8 much 2 wad i really feel.........mayb this blog is juz a front.........blah!!!!!!!i dun even noe wad i'm saying........i'm stoning @ hm.......lyk amirah.........blah............................gg crazy..........*contained in madness*

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[11:02:00 AM]

i browsed my frenz' blogs.....most of them said tinks which i totally agree with...nxt yr would b diff......bt who noes.......mayb i'll b writing the same tink.bt 1 tink i noe is dat i'm gonna change......i'm nt ever gonna b the same again.....i still dunno hw.....bt i will........i've tot thru a lot n made some resolutions.+ some tinks i've realised bt as i dun hav any means of confirming so i'm juz gonna keep it 2 myself.......anyway,dis hol is getting boring.......1st wk onli i say dis.........l8r last wk i'm gonna say i've died of boredom haha...........ytd went 2 c my cousin de baby......which is my niece ar?i tink so........3days onli........so small,so cute......bt realli c onli lo......dun dare touch........anyway,2c1 peeps,i'm gonna post the pics on the claz grp so u all cn go hav a look...

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[10:12:00 AM]