today's camp was exhausting.........super........anyway,i checked out the sims 2 site.....it's so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bt so ex lo.....i hope my sis de results v gd den my mum buy 4 her........cuz i wan my ipod........i noe i selfish la.........haha.........bt at least cn play wad..........n my sis oso wanna play..........hope cn gt wad we wan..........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[7:52:00 PM]

thank you by simple plan rel8s 2 my feelings nw........sigh....is nt dat i wanna feel sad......is dat i c until her i will feel sad lo.........sigh.........sort of lyk regret la.........n dunno y tinks become liddat................bt wad is over is over........i'm nt gonna b any1's "trouble".........nv will b!no way!when i saw her blog i was lyk "dats wad u tink of me?!"..........today ask her wanna take pics she said no........i dunno wad 2 say.......it nt lyk i didn try......juz no response frm the oth side........might as well bang my head on the wall.........at least better.............. so far i am better than i was the past few wks..........i juz feel dat hw come ppl cn b so scornful n sarcastic...........so malicious.......its nt onli 4 me lo.........everytink is falling apart........between so many ppl..................so many stories............so many sides................sumtimes ppl tink i dun c tinks dat happen.........mayb they tink i'm too stupid to c or dun bother........well,i do......."pang guan zhe qing;dang ju zhe mi".........anyway,mr murali say camp de grps out liao.......gt meh......nv c leh.......anyway.......i bet she will not "feel happy" if she is in the same grp as me.......cuz they say dat each claz divide 1-20,20-40.............wadever........its nt lyk i wanted it rite?lyk the claz tink.......did i choose 2 go 2sp?nope.....its juz dat my grades were nt eligible 4 3s n better than expected 4 2s n se........she cn dun "feel happy" dat she's in the same claz as me 4 all she wans......bt dat cnt change anytink....i'm still in the same claz as her.......anyway.....she's still in the same claz as her best fren wad.......nt lyk all nt her fren liddat.........i dunno la......i dun understand her.......n she wun bother explaining 2 me........onli cares abt her oth fren..........probably if i die she will onli say "oh.".lyk she cares.none of her business wad....juz another pesky person out of her sight.

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[3:18:00 PM]

my life sucks.........everytink juz doesn seem right......everytink seems 2 go out of my control........today was another disappointing day......lyk all the previous days..........found out sum1 wanted 2 drop.............dun understand y.......actually i gt a pretty gd idea bt i wun say it here............i'm nt gg 2 care wad she does liao.......its her who doesn wan 2 try ok..........nt me.....i tried.........onli 2 end up w/ even more disappointment............today i had a long chat w/ gl..........felt better aft it.........gt quite a few tinks out bt nt all............anyway,oth than the disappointment my day was pretty ok.........took sum pics w/ yy,gl,sther,hm,yp,siti...........nt bad lo.........at the end of dis entry,i wish 2 repeat dat if she's "afraid dat she will b in the same claz as me again" cuz i will b continuing her "trouble 4 2 more yrs",she cn b assured dat she will nt b troubled cuz by nxt yr,i will nt b wad i am nw.......aft the hols i shld b able 2 gt over it n live my own life instead on relying on ppl who dun even care a shit abt me.its too l8 2 do anytink n even if i wan,it takes 2 hands 2 clap.so there's no point.at all.i guess i cnt evn take a pic w/ her 2 remind me of my sec 2 life nxt tm......

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[3:11:00 PM]

if she meant me in her blog....rest assured dat she will nt b "troubled"....cuz i'm nt gonna wallow in self pity anymore....at least i'll try.......wad does she expect?me 2 stick 2 the past or stick 2 her 4 2 more yrs?nope...i'm nt gonna do dat......if she expected dat...she's wrong.....wadever........if dat means i'm gonna b a loner in claz nxt yr....fine......at least dat'll will b betta.......if dat wad she means i'm fine w/ it.....

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:54:00 PM]

a few ppl hav been telling me abt tinks.......a particular subject has so many diff versions of the story i dun even noe who's right.......or rather,i dun wish 2 care....it will gt me nowhere................plus,i juz dun get it........wadever i do.......sum ppl wun b happy....i guess u juz cnt pls everyone..........it would b gr8 if ppl would juz take a lil more time 2 gt 2 noe each oth better.......even those u dislike or h8....tinks would b easier n the world would b a better place......honestly....nt laming or crapping or anytink......bt i guess it's juz 2 l8 2 do anytink nw.......anyway everybody's splitting up........until nw.........nobody still noes the real me..........i mean *real* real.....nt as in lyk having a straightforward character means dat u're wad u seem...........mayb i juz dun c my own gd points........i'm juz a pessimistic person.

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:24:00 PM]

cn i gt my ipod mini???dat's wad i was tinking aft i gt my combi...........w/ dat out of the way,all i'm tinking abt is my ipod mini.........call me obsessed or crazy or wadever.....bt i've been wanting it since lyk..........june??juz nw when i told my mum abt my combi....she didn hav much response.......sigh...den i asked her abt my ipod mini......she juz said dat she'll c my results.....................=(........anyway,speaking of combi-s.......my "idol" confirm same claz as me lo...............i didn expect so lil ppl gg 2 2sp......they say abt 26 onli lo.........anyway,i gt wad the combi i wanted n i'm quite happy.......bt on the oth hand i'm nt........bcuz of oth matters.........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:15:00 PM]

nw i'm gonna do sumtink which i hav nv done b4.....i'll write a msg 2 a few of my frenz.......cuz i juz feel lyk.....so sad dat we're gonna b separated nxt yr........i wish them all the best in everytink they do....n hope dat they'll b happy....dat's v impt......k....here goes....

gl(my lao gong):hey.....i realli appreciate u as a fren as much as u appreciate me as a fren....(so u ownself agar c hw much la....-_^)...thx 4 cheering me up when i was lyk so unhappy.....whenever u're ard me when i gt angry.......u'll b there 2 say "lac la!" n den pat me on the back....i hope i'll c u again in the claz i'll b in......hope we'll gt into 2sp la....dun both oso drop dao se....-_-...haha.......bt even we're nt in the same claz we'll still c each oth in hmt.....n perhaps chi lit?haha.....=)

th(shithui):yo!wad u said today realli makes sense.......dat's y i listened 2 u.....i mostly do........last time i disliked u lyk siao lo.......bt aft changing our claz positions last yr n u sat w/ kianwee......den we "tortured" him.......den gradually gt 2 noe each oth lo.....thx 4 always trying 2 help solve all the conflicts......bt when we 2 quarrel.....the both of us always v de stubborn de lo.......anyway,i juz hope dat u'll gt into the claz u wan n fufil ur dreams....(if u gt la....bt c u liddat everytime qiao ka de....lyk dun hav leh........jk).......u'r the 1 who always dared 2 suan me n hit me back de lo........bt sumtimes i nv hit u u oso hit me....+_+.......k la.......dun tuo liao.......anyway u wun c dis de....cuz u dun read blog de.......hope sum1 will pass msg 2 u.......hehe.....=)

limin:erm........aft all dat happened....i guess its kinda awkward 4 us nw....bt nv-theless...i juz wanna wish u all the best n hope u will gt into the claz u wan....(2sp!)hope dat u'll smile as much as u r these days......dun gt too stressed nxt yr n go mad......u'll hafta relax at times.........n rmb......if u wanna find a person 2 chat or confide or anytink.....u cn always giv me a call..........erm.....i guess i'll end off w/ sumtink u lyk......stay "cute" always..............

sther:hey..........1st time so close 2 sum1 who has the same name as me...last time pri sch de i bo chup de......anyway......i cn always rmb u saying dat u'r 1st impression of me is lyk a "da jie da"....i realli look dat fierce meh??anyway...u've been a realli gr8 fren 2 me.....i hope dat u'll gt into the claz u wan n gt gr8 results...(ur results r already nt bad).......honestly....i nt wanna make u paiseh or wad.......bt u realli muz consider 1 of my sis eh.....*wink*

siti:yo....u were the 1 who i would always tok cock 2 in claz..........tok abt all those tinks.........haha!!is all either say abt teachers or perverted tinks de.........*grinz*......bt nw cnnt liao.............i still treat u as my gd fren n i hope our frenship cn last as long as it cn last.......sumtimes u hafta tink more positively......dun b so self-deprecating cn a nt..........cuz ppl c or hear liao will b lyk.....wah lau!....so u noe la..........so.....i hope u'll gt into the claz u wan n b happy always.......=)

amirah:hey....u've been a realli realli gr8 fren 2 me...........u'r the 1 who always "walks in when others walk out"....i realli realli appreciate it.....pls do nt tink dat u'r nt appreciated.....n dun b self-demeaning........i mean it.......cheer up n smile more n everytink will b all rite.......a smile matters a lot........make a brand new start nxt yr n all tinks will seem easier.......trust me.........i hope u'll ......blah blah blah......sry eh....my hand aching aft typing so many times same tink........n btw,rmb 2 keep in contact hor.........=)

all the oth gals in 2c1:yo gals!sry if i offended u all by nt writing individual msgs 4 u all bt i wanna go watch the champions liao.....if i miss i will cry de.......-_^...cuz miss diao c chiobu-s!...n shuaige-s?(i tink toro shuai onli...bt dun wanna offend ppl)thx 4 bearing w/ my bad temper n joining in crapping in claz......i hope all of u didn mind me making noise in claz sumtimes.......*sheepish*.....anyway.......i wanna type sumtink u've probably seen 4 so many times liao.......i hope dat u'll do well in all ur future endeavours n gt into the claz u wan.....anyway........i'll c u all in hmt!

all the guys in 2c1,esp my "sis":hey guys.......erm.........i tink all of u although sumtimes v de.....u noe..........bt u all r v sporting at times...........u all gt along v well w/ the gals in our claz........dat's sumtink 2 b proud of cuz nt all classes cn do dat..........thx 4 making me laugh w/ all the lame jokes,digs @ ppl n all dat......i appreciate it.......i also wish u all dat all of u cn gt into the claz u wan..........=)
aft all dis msgs......i tink i'm lyk repeating myself.......bt sumtimes i realli dunno wad 2 write.........brain blank diao.........*blank*..........sry if i've offended any1........i sincerely mean every word which i said here......i'm nt being sarcastic or anytink......sry if i've missed out any1.......(individual msgs la...).......pls remind me....cuz i gt stm-short term memory.........thx ar............

BYE 2c1'o4!!!!!!*sobs*i'll rmb all of u as long as my short term memory brain cn keep the info........pls do b more enthu in taking claz pics dis wk cuz we'll nt hav the chance again.....thx!!!!=)=)=) ps:the msgs r nt in any particular order n they were all typed as wad i tot at dat moment.....

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:07:00 PM]

i realli gt nth 2 say liao............realli realli dunno wad 2 say............sther n siti noes wad it is la..................is realli............realli realli realli realli realli realli realli.............sigh.......................................................................... sigh.....................*speechless*

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[9:45:00 AM]

tag-board.com crashed as i was editing my tagboard so the tagboard is nt realli da nice....nxt time when i'm online i'll change it.

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[4:54:00 PM]

juz changed my blogskin.....tot the lil gal who's crying is quite cute......bt too bad she's crying la......ytd nth better 2 do....found loads of blogskins which rel8s 2 my mood nw......den decided on dis 1....nxt time den change oths.......i'm realli gg crazy......nth better 2 do lo.......sigh...........if call ppl 2 chat oso dunno wad 2 say.....all the bks i borrowed frm the library oso read finished liao......lazy go borrow........sigh.....tink of tmr oso sian...........slack slack.......suddenly the idea of the hols doesn seem so gd.......bt on the other hand sch doesn seem so gd either.......juz so sick of everytink......bored 2 hell.......plain lyk dunno wad...........grrr........argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wad's the point!!!*slams hands down on keyboard*dsmf okasfjmdsf; hfoidsj fdsk,mn dscmsgfikhdsoifj fhjdsffjfhfdsfhdsfjsfkljfkjjklfjk lfjklfjkfjdsfjhbdsfnshjkggcfxzchaoifkamndvghavcrfcdsfjsgfdgbnfdhjvcuds;kdfmdsjg hshvgvklfdgldjvgxcvgyxcfvudsfjpdfkfdmgnvftrvdvcebghbdsklfkst0irwt73532532jkfhgsvihfvklsvlds;c/dsCAc45cx741jncjncjzc gauywgygdtsfchbcncmncmzcklcnzcnzjchcyagcaygojacajsbc..........sumbody call woodbridge!!!!!!!!!*sighs really deeply*juz giv me sumtink 2 concentrate on instead of whiling every minute lyk dis

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[3:13:00 PM]

back 2 dat dull ache tink.....i cn still feel it.....deep down.........n it realli realli realli hurts.....well....it may vary 4 ppl....depending on their priorities.....some put their frenz in the very front....n some choose 2 put a lil behind.......i juz happen 2 b the 1st type...........i hope it will juz stop hurting soon.....................today went thru sci paper n i gt 1 more mark.....cuz i was supposed 2 hav the mark....it was juz the marker's fault 4 being cocked-eyed.....is there such a term?well...wadever.......sometimes ppl may tink dat i'm wad i show on the exterior.....bt u noe wad?its nt.......nt exactly.if ppl would CARE 2 take juz a lil more time 2 observe,they'll c...n those who took the time would noe the ppl i'm referring 2....procrastinating may work @ times.....bt sometimes it doesn.......lyk nw........sigh........4gt it........anyway......today chi teacher said most probably our sec 3 chi teacher would b mdm ang.....i was lyk the onli 1 saying "yes!" while the oths said "huh............"....thank gdness its mdm ang....she's a lil fierce...bt ur grades will improve....n i dun wanna gt stuck w/ the same teacher 4 FOUR yrs..........tmr gt band camp......(c my expression?-_-")......anyway.....ppl reading dis b4 9pm.....plz watch The Champions on ch8!!!!!!!!!!!=_=-slpy....

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[6:53:00 PM]

aft so long....aft all dis....nw we're juz gd frenz?dat's wad she wrote...funny hw a few words cn matter so much 2 a person....in both gd n bad ways...2 the extent of hurting so much dat there's a dull ache in my heart.......look,i'm nt a les or sumtink....bt its juz dat i treat her lyk my best fren den nw she says dat we're gd frenz.....sigh.....i dunno la....i cnt say anytink....it will onli make it worst....she doesn even wanna try liao....i tink....since she has so many oth frenz.....y bother abt another "gd fren"?....mayb its juz the disappointment or sumtink.....i dunno.........i talk 2 her she doesn giv me lyk much response....let alone wad she's feeling....she onli bothers 2 tell those who r her best frenz....oths?nvm.even if they care....so much 4 her realisation....bt perhaps she realised more den she let on.....4gt it.....i dun even c the point of procrastinating here.......juz makes me feel sadder......lyk she cares.

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[7:26:00 PM]

mrs lee let us come in..........i dunno y suddenly everybody has a change of attitude.......exp certain ppl.......i dunno wad the heck is up w/ them.......wadever.......it nt lyk they care dat I care 4 them......so nvm........wadever.........they dun bother explaining anyway.....let me juz play com games n pass time.......if onli they would explain tinks would b diff.......promises r juz meant 2 b broken lo.........wad ppl say last time they tend 2 4gt....i admit it.....even i myself do dat sumtimes........wadever....dat's wad i cn say........i'll go hm n upd8 l8r......den mayb elaborate.......

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[11:55:00 AM]

eh.....today went 2 gt the contacts......sit there quite long la.....bt nt as long as sumbody i noe....-_-....gl kept complaining....haha....even threatened 2 buy glue...cuz my eyes small wad......v hard 2 put in......so aft the person taught me all the basics liao went hm w/ sther while gl took the mrt...we took 178....den talked a while lo......tmr i n sther set liao....she's gonna pei me wear contacts.......i juz hope ppl wun laugh lyk dat time when sther wore them 4 the 1st time........nw my eyes lyk cnnt focus liddat....dunno iz cuz of contacts or juz liddat.....n the contact lens lyk keep moving....psychological factor?....sigh.....today checked all the subs' marks.....maths failed......cn u believe it?!i failed......i sorta expected.....bt nt by dat much.....sigh..........n heard dat gt sumbody in oth claz gt v low....i noe who n wad mark la...bt dun say la....sigh........bt @ least my oth subjects still nt bad............juz hope average 70++% den cn go 2sp......so cn take chi lit...honestly dat claz is juz let me rest onli lo.....i dun tink i will lyk it.......anyway.....i tink my ipod mini is lyk *poof*......fly away liao......unless my mum "da fa ci bei" den tink i worked hard......den cn......haiz....basically is sad abt the ipod mini n 2sp claz.......oth den dat i'm quite happy dat my oth subs improved.........chinese 1st time compo so high.......bt anyway weichao still won me.....expected.....she so pro........i peifu ta.......she's betta than dat.....dat.....my "idol".....my claz de ppl will noe....*wink*....she gt so high.......almost full mark liao.....dunno y she so pro still come dis sch...cn go betta sch wad.......dunno her la......mayb she gt reasons..btw,limin gave me the realli bel8ed present....thx!=)...(i lyk it...nt bluffing u hor...)anyway,to summarize wad i feel nw..........is lyk sometinks r juz beyond ur control n dat "shi shi nan liao".........some tinks r so unexpected....literally translated la.......somebody cn call me 2 chat a nt........v bored leh.......=_=

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[5:39:00 PM]

nw in dnt....aft checkin the ca marks we persuaded mrs abdul 2 bring us 2 it lab3.....so nw blogging...n playin neopets....lame la...bt nth betta 2 do....sther brought her ipod......still v de xian mu....hope cn buy during dis wk aft gt results....bt i guess nt....cuz still nd the overall......realli realli (x1000times) hope dat cn buy ipod mini................T_T.....sigh..........T_T.......crazy liao..........T_T

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:54:00 AM]

finished the 8 bks i borrowed frm west mall de library on sun....sian....nth betta 2 do...everyday slp,read,eat,play com......today go band......oth den dat?boring........dun feel realli in touch w/ the human world.......kiddin.....ok lo......juz distant frm certain ppl ba......dunno whether wanna call a nt.......sort of lyk scared l8r dunno wad 2 say.....although i gt a lot 2 say....bt scared make tinks worse.....i dunno.....since she tok abt initiative,i tink i'll take the initiative......bt dunno if it will work....juz try ba.....c wad happens....bt if it doesn work...dun any1 dare say dat i didn try...........today out of habit read every1's blog b4 typing my own entry of the day....saw all of them de blog lyk say scared of wad's gonna happen tmr......c they say until liddat i oso nervous liao.......juz hope cn go 2sp claz......i dun care abt bio liao.......since 2sp gt chi lit. dat cn let me slp thru the claz.....i tink la.....sigh.......my maths is so gonna kill me.....i juz hope i cn go 2sp claz n gt my ipod mini....dat's my wish.......wonder hw high r the chances of fufiling them...........gl so funny.....go everywhere cn c her leaving tags asking us 2 drink more water..........suddenly i'm crazy abt soundtracks of movies....lyk princess diaries 2,ella enchanted,a cinderella story n confessions of a teenage drama queen...the songs r quite nice......anne hathaway de voice nt bad.......lindsay lohan de voice reminds me of hilary duff,esp in "i decide"......enuff talking......gonna go off 2 call sum1 liao................-_-

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:03:00 PM]

weird eh...suddenly she say dat she realised dat we care 4 her....ok....mayb it's th who made her realise...bt almost same point.....writing it in the blog is nt realli dat impt.......wad's impt is wad follows....if she says dat she realised it bt she does nth 2 prove her point,its the same......i juz hope i cn keep my sarcasm out of all dis..........btw,i realli went out there 2 do sumtink i quite regret........dunno if i realli dare 2 pull it off................-_-".......even dun dare oso muz dare.......cuz dun wan waste $.....l8r mum will nag 4 dunno when say dat if u didn dare den y u go waste my $!lucky hols r coming soon so i guess shld b ok la.....nt so paiseh........(anyone wans 2 guess wad i'm talking abt?!-_^....guess?clue:it has sumtink 2 do w/ specs......i tink it shld b quite obvious liao la.....)..............been tinking a lot these days.....actually,hav alwaz been la.........juz dat my mindset has changed a lil these days......more optimistic ba....try 2 dun tink abt those tinks 2 upset me........try 2 "overlook" them........sigh......nxt time i wun b so kpo liao......help ppl den become "helping" myself.......in a bad way......i messed up...............so i gonna bear the consequences......pay lo.......lucky a few dollars onli........or else l8r lyk 10 over dollars i'm dead.............today it rained so damn heavily...........water gt onto my bed....cuz i'm slping nxt 2 the window......dammit.......as my mum went 2 work....had 2 go collect the laundry while my sis was playing runescape......dunno wad she sees in the game......honestly......den considered if i wanted 2 go down n gt drenched by the rain bt on 2nd tots.....rather go back 2 slp...so slp until lyk 10am liddat....den eat liao read bk til 2+?den went out 2 print tink...........kena "qiao zha" by my sis.......cuz i call her go out w/ me wad.......she call me buy dis buy dat........sigh...den aft dat come back lo.......sian.......wanna slp liao.....zzzzzz

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[4:34:00 PM]

sigh...whenever i try 2 b happy n let go....sumtink juz has 2 make me feel negative again........stabs of pain n disappointment pass thru my heart whenever i c sumtink related 2 the stuff dat makes me sad......i noe dat i cnt blame any1 bt my stupid stubborn character dat landed me in dis dump........bt i juz cnt help tinking a lot of "wad ifs"....lyk wad if i didn do this,wad if i didn do dat......onli some ppl bother 2 decipher wad i realli mean in my blog....sum juz tink dat dat's juz hw i am n dun care anymore abt it.....when will the pain stop hurting?will it b till nxt yr?i hope dat it will heal faster.......its juz too much 2 bear w/ no1 dat i cn share my burden w/ without feeling lyk i'm troubling the person n making the person feel lyk i do...........sigh.....it sure would b gr8 2 hav a revolution in my life....a gd 1.......thx 2 mdm yehidah's hist lessons...i noe the meaning of revolution.....it means a total or drastic change..........ha!drastic..let's juz c hw drastic it cn b..i'm trying 2 make a revolution instead of juz waiting.....in more ways than 1.....let's juz hope it all turns out fine...bt it might take quite a long time......hmm...........*in deep tot*

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[10:12:00 PM]

so proud of my pri sch band!!!!!!^_^shuqun pri sch band rawks!juz nw saw them on the psc nite......didn realli noe it was them until i say the knee length socks....haha.....distinct feature......@ least nw no nd 2 wear them bt nw the shoes r juz as bad........-_-"..hurts my feet......today i'm so glad dat i gt my instrument back!!!ms yip gt us 2 clean our instruments....4 the brasses,plus washing lo....as my instrument wasn back,had 2 clean genesis's instrument.....n the other 1 i had been using 4 lyk 1 prac?if u r reading dis,genesis...u betta watch out!!!!!kiddin,kiddin.......bt realli damn tired.....aft footdrill n all....lucky aft dat had a long break.....bt the others all gt 2 eat.....as our instruments took the longest time....we didn get 2 go out..gt raj 2 buy sum snacks n dat's dat.......i am nv gg 2 buy vcds frm malaysia again......the quality is lyk shit......watched the princess diaries 2 watch until so sick.........bt the movie quite nice la......anne hathaway quite chio.......her voice v nice.......dl-ed her songs in the soundtrack of her movies....ella enchanted.........watched dat a while back......quite impressed by her acting.....sian...nw lyk nth 2 do.................cept slack...........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[8:57:00 PM]

wad the....everytime i open limin's n siti's blog...the internet explorer has 2 close down...i suppose its bcuz of the iwebmusic ba.....dunno..............funny dat situations change juz so fast.....ppl r unpredictable....dat's all i cn say....ppl may say i'm making a mountain out of a molehill bt dat's hw i realli feel....mayb i'm nt rational bt at least i'm following my instincts........or at least i tink i am.......sum times its nt wad i wanna do or wad i wanna say....its juz tinks dat make situations diff.....n sumtimes ppl r compelled 2 do tinks dat they dun realli wanna do.........juz been wondering if alwaz gg w/ the flow is right......."right" right.......everyone has their own definition of wad's right n i still dun quite exactly noe wad's mine.......anyway....juz tinking if a person alwaz goes w/ the flow,hangs out w/ wad r supposed 2 b the right ppl n do wad everybody is doing @ the point of time,even if he or she doesn realli lyk wad he or she is doing....is he/she right?is he/she happy?mayb,4 a while the person might....bt soon,the person is gonna realise wad's realli important 2 him/herself n regret sum tinks..........dat's wad i tink la.........sigh.........today was lyk..........i dunno.......is nt i dun wanna tok 2 her.....is dunno wad 2 say........awkward................................. -_-.....i wonder.......does my face realli look bushuang so much???bt i cnt do anytink abt it....dat's hw my face is.......i cnt b grinning lyk an idiot everytime......my face will b tired n if i dun feel lyk it...its realli hard 2 smile.....................initiative....wad a simple word........bt its v difficult 2 start taking the initiative..................................saw a particular person's msn nick today........felt weird.........lyk disappointed la.....bt expected........(any1 cn guess who it belongs 2?no prizes 4 the correct ans bt u cn try....juz 4 the fun of it?)today lower sec went 2 the hall of recess of some chinese opera tink....i ended up slpin 4 abt 25min+......dunno hw 2 appreciate dis traditional art...........sigh........tmr hafta go band.................

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[7:04:00 PM]

finally!the exams r over....dunno y dis time lyk take so long 2 end the exam period...mayb its juz a psychological factor?dunno....today went 2 watch white chicks w/ jh,hm,sther....last min decision.....we were running lyk siao......cuz we went 2 take neoprints b4 dat.......came back @ abt 4pm....sian.....aft the exams feel v relieved bt lyk nth much 2 do cept watch dvds,listening 2 music,sleep,chat w/ frenz n go out......ok......dat's actually a lot 2 do......bt mayb cnt do dat much.....cuz gt band.....sigh...dis sat hav 2 go back 4 almoz the whole day cuz gt day camp..........................................relax a while oso cnnt....2 days onli leh......wadever.i'm blabbering..............

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[7:39:00 PM]

today's lyk the last day of exams...tmr hmt....nth much 2 study........haiz....i hope dat i cn at least pass my maths.......paper 1 n 2 all lyk shit....was the only papers i didn finish.......sigh.........nw feeling quite ok......since i've realised dat nt everytink cn b 2 ur favour n wad u wan cnnt b always obtainable.....juz trying 2 take it in my stride..since there r other ppl who care 4 me.....at least they bother 2 lend listening ears 2 me.....to listen 2 hw i feel n giv me comments n advice.........../ytd bought hilary duff's "hilary duff"....thx 2 sther...havn return her $ sia.....today juz sorta chionged out of sch........haiz.....feel so sad....aft 9wks plus,my dad went back liao......bo pian........work........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[11:55:00 AM]

trying 2 juz let go these days...let go of all the tinks dat happened....trying 2 juz gt back 2 the old me...b4 all dat happened....so nw i'm juz trying 2 treasure everytink i've gt.......haiz...go rest liao...l8r study lit.....

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[1:08:00 PM]

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dun understand??well,here's a translated version.....i tink dat chances r realli slim nw......realli......actually...tinks havn changed much....probably the onli 1 who has changed is me....cuz i hav actually finally understood........they'll juz probably tink i'm on 1 of my ravings.....showing attitude 2 them without any reason.....u noe wad?i hav a reason.....n i'm nt showing any attitude.......juz letting them be themselves.......while juz backing myself into a corner......n in the end.........i jump......n dat's the tragic end........haiz.......i dun even understand myself.....so hw cn ppl?if they dun wish 2 do anytink abt this...i wun.....anyway,lyk i said,it probably wun b much use....let's juz c hw tinks will go on........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[5:54:00 PM]

i'm getting numb...almost.....wad use is it in solving the problems?ya,true...we'll talk more aft dat without feeling dat awkward bt wad was there will still b there.....if nth changes wad's the point in solving the probs.......i dunno...c hw tinks go...by the time exams finish everytink will b different...perhaps i,too,wun giv a damn den...saw her blog on fri....she tinks dat we didn care?ha...den she doesn noe wad's realli DUN CARE...wanna try?no prob....one uncaring person coming rite up..if dat's wad she tot of me n the others i gt nth 2 say...i cn onli say in my own stand dat i'm realli disappointed dat she tinks i didn care....nw i realli wun care...since dat's wad she tinks...anyway she doesn care much abt me too...so y nt?i'm frustrated w/ wad ppl tink...cnt they see tinks so obvious in front of them?y cn they onli c themselves n those who they care for?those who care for them bt they dun care abt them they juz say dat they dun care....kinda confusing i noe....bt wadever...if u dun understand dat's ur business..even better...dun read on!who cares.i'm rude.i noe.bt i'm pissed off,angry,sad n disappointed...give me a break...wad i say might nt b true....its juz in the pique of my anger... ------------------------------------------ i did all the revision exercises 4 sci,past yr papers 4 maths n history,n did all my hmwk....rare....normally i would dilly dally until the last minute w/ nth much done.....i suppose dat when u're sad u dun realli wanna do anytink bt concentrate or tinks dat wouldn make u tink of the subject of ur sadness......haiz........

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[5:54:00 PM]

the more they laugh,the more i sulk..i noe its petty.i noe its useless.those ppl dun even give a damn abt me.each 4 their own.i hav finally understood the meaning of the sentence.all the past was juz a farcade.crap.nth 2 them.they cn still gt on w/ their life w/out me as a fren.finally a day has come where i nd 2 face the truth.awful bt true.nobody actually really cares abt me.i hav avoided coming 2 dis conclusion bt dats wad i feel.o'm nth more den a hi-n-bye fren+clazmate 2 them.i wun believe any1 nw.no matter wad they all say.try 2 hoodwink me in believing they care.ya right.wadever,i dun even suppose they'll go 2 dat extent.they juz act lyk its nobody's business n go together n gt on w/ their lives.leaving my in my dump.my dump of a life.nth i do cn make them realise dat i realli cared 4 them.i realli do give all i hav 4 my frenz.@ least i tot they were.they didn think so.just treated me lyk sum1 who would come wagging her tail whenever they called 4 help.when they didn nd help,down 2 the doghouse she goes.literally.i lyk 2 tink dat i'm strong,i dun giv a damn when ppl stab me in the back n hurt me etc etc.bt i'm nt.i'm juz as human as any gal.i do cry too.juz nt in public.i fell lonely,bitter,inferior,depressing n many more.all my experiences w/ 'friends' hav left me cold n bitter.i've lost my trust in best frenz.frm nw on,i wun b acknowledging any best frenz.juz frenz.i will nt tell any1 abt my feelings.let them tink wad they wan.i'll try 2 ans monosyllabic.if colors could describe my mood nw.it would b black,bloacker than the darkest crevice in the world.nobody will gt into the chamber of my heart marked w/ a sign called 'best frenz'.we ended our alliance ytd.if they wan.they cn form their own oh-so-cute clique w/ all the oh-so-cutefrenz of theirs.i noe i'm insulting.bt dat's the onli way i cn express my feelings.i cnt cry in front of them.dat would b my ultimate limit.y had tinks ended up liddat?izzit all my doing or theirs?y muz every best fren i hav end up on bad terms w/ me?juz kill me n gt it over w/!if my life is 2 b filled w/ similar encounters,i rather die sooner.

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[7:42:00 PM]

i'm feeling bitter..so bitter dat i cn almoz taste bile in my mouth.perhaps its all my fault...tables hav turned n it hurts being nt able 2 do anytink bt let it carry on..bt i dunno wad 2 do...nobody is there 4 me..wadever i feel,whether sad or happy,no one cares...i might as well b a statue or a robot....let ppl do wad they wan.i hav no right 2 interfere..n they probably dun wan me 2.they'll b happy.bt am i??yes,ppl cn believe dat by my laughter.those who 'noe' me.wadever.there'll b a new start 4 everybody nxt yr.mayb i'll b better off....by the way tinks r gg...mayb u wun even c me @ the chalet.who noes?

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[7:38:00 PM]

all i'm getting r mixed signals.i dunno whether ppl r bushuang or nt;happy or nt happy w/ me..u gt the point.i dunno wad's on their mind nw.it makes me tired 2 guess n deal w/ the wrong ans.honesty,trust,pacts,wad r they?a load of bull.worse,i cnt find any1 i cn trust 2 confide in.in fact,i dun trust any1 nw.i really shld stop doing dis.its pointless....perhaps i juz hav a wild imagination.nobody shows or tell me wad 2 do.i dunno which direction i shld go......

i cried...because of tinks i couldn stop frm happening...`
[7:33:00 PM]